Forever?

Lazy afternoon with just a relaxed mind and self. Music really makes me feeling happy even if I'm all alone. Do you ever feel really lonely and there's no one to talk to or laugh with and share amazing experiences together? That is how I'm feeling since last year. All I think is that I am just a shadow of someone else or just a part of the walls. The word "lonely" really depresses me when I hear it. In teen flicks, there's always mean girls in school or what you call bullies. Don't get me wrong, I am not one nor I am not being attacked by one. I just think that I really can't choose real friends and friends that I will cherish until I grow up.

I remember when I was in 2nd grade I am always alone and can't get along with my classmates. In recess time, I always run to the telephone booth and call my mom to update her with everything. I was a loner. Sometimes, I got bullied by real assholes and one time I was really pissed and I called my mom crying and I wanted to go home so badly. But guess what? A year after that, those bullies turned out to be my bestfriends. One of them even talks to me and we've been friends for almost a decade now but I know we missed a lot about each other because we haven't been close for 7 years.

I always envy people who have like a REAL best friend. Childhood friends to best friends to eternity. They'll be together forever and understand each other. I had like almost 10 different best friends every 2 years I guess and I know, it's horrible. It's like I don't have a stick to one best friend who really understands me in all the things I am going through. Sometimes, I feel so insecure talking to them about my problems because I know their lives are just a bed of roses.

A best friend for me is someone who is not afraid to make you smile if you are depressed, is not afraid to stand up for you if someone is pissing you off, is someone who will protect you from every temptation the evil people are doing, is someone who gives you advices if you are confused and clueless about the things you should do, is someone who will be your shoulder to cry on. Those are just some definition of a true best friend.

We don't need to be famous to have real friends. We don't need to produce a reality show to be someone's best friend and certainly, we should not be friends with someone that you secretly hate and start talking shit about them, that is just hypocritical.

Enjoy life with your true friends. If you have one or a thousand -- you are considered BLESSED.